Daily Truth

So this morning I got a call for an acting audition. To my dismay I had to decline the opportunity because of my financial situation. Money is so tight right now I can’t even afford a Metro card and instead have to stay home doing absolutely nothing. But the missed opportunity is besides the point here. It’s what I did after that made me realize something.

The night before I was looking over some Shakespearean monologues just for the hell of it and I saved them on my computer. Never in my life had I understood what his characters were saying like last night. Anyway, this morning I stayed in my bed with my eyes open and I could feel the frustration slowly taking over me. I thought to myself, “If I had to perform those monologues, especially the ones where I had to demonstrate anger of any sort, I could use what I am feeling now to nail it!”

And it hit me at that moment: I was made to be an actor. I was given the gift of being able to store emotion and use it for spoken word.

I Don't Want to Give Birth to a Barbarian

Anyone who knows me knows I can be like a Mother Hen, but when it comes down to it: I think I am terrified of having children and there are a number of reasons to this, but the main one being…



I AM TERRIFIED OF BEING STUCK WITH A CHILD THAT ACTS LIKE A BARBARIAN


Allow me to explain this because there might be a parent reading this and cursing me out right about now and if not then that’s great. Less stress for me.
Alright, let me break it down for you:

1) Although I have two older sisters, I was raised as an only child
2) I had to grow up super fast, so there was no time to act, well crazy or bad
3) I HATE screaming, whether it be from an adult, teenager, or child.

So with those three things in mind, it’s only natural that I don’t want a barbarian child. Now barbarian probably sounds like a harsh word, but let’s take a look at the definition of barbarian. According to dictionary.com (gosh I feel like I am writing a research paper) barbarian is defined as an uncivilized or crude person. And crude means not mature or lacking refinement.

Now I know children are young and whatnot, but for me, once they hit a certain age they need to stop with that crying for everything crap. I don’t mind babies, but it is once children start becoming toddlers that I begin to cringe. And let’s not even get me started about elementary school years because by the time you are 8 or 10, for me, you need to get some maturity.

When I am on the bus or train, but especially the bus and I hear toddlers screaming and whining, I want to jump out of the window. The nightmare kicks in: having to deal with THAT on a daily basis. Yes, children are blessings and bring joy, BUT that joy comes at a price.

So, with all this being said, I conclude by telling you, the reader, that I NEVER EVER want to bare a Barbarian Child!

I WANT CUPCAKES!

So I wanted cupcakes today, unfortunately, I had my craving AFTER I had spent hours outside and was finally comfortable indoors. So I didn’t feel like walking all the way to the nearest pastry store.
So I came up with an awesome idea: I would make a cake. I knew my mom had some cake mix in the cupboard. So I get up and go to find the different flavors she had.
SCORE! I find 3 boxes, two of Lemon and one of Chocolate. I was soooooooooo happy. Then I flip the box over and check the expiration date. This was my reaction to the dates stamped on the bottom: -_____________________-
So now I have no cake or any type of pastry to eat.
fml